*** The sentence "clear love, only for China" made my eyes wet with tears Before joining the army, Chen Xiangrong took a group photo with his sister Chen qiaochai. Photo by Yao jiusui My brother Chen Xiangrong has died for more than a year. I still can't accept the fact that he has left his mother and me forever. He is a soldier. I understand his mission and responsibility. But as his sister, in my eyes, he is just an adult child. At the age of 18, he gave his young life to defend the national territory. My mother and I were not surprised that my brother could act like this, because he was a strong and optimistic person who respected the old and loved the young. Mother often said that when she conceived her brother, her stomach was much larger than other pregnant women around her, which once made her think she was twins. My brother often tosses rivers and seas in my mother's stomach, which makes my mother miserable. Mother said that the child must be a "bully" after birth. After my brother was born, I watched him lying quietly in his mother's arms, with his eyes closed. His long curled eyelashes moved with his eyelids. There were some white dots on his nose. His pink and small mouth moved "Ba Da Ba Da". It looked very cute. I told myself at that time: "I must love this little guy!" Soon after his brother could walk, his parents took him away from his hometown in Fujian and went to Hubei to do business. Mom and dad's job is to buy mushrooms planted by retail investors and sell them after rough processing. Sometimes when they are busy and have no time to take care of their brother, they lock their brother at home and watch TV. My brother is also very good. He will stay at home quietly without crying or making noise. The landlord's aunt opened a canteen. When my brother grows up, he will help her look after the shop while playing. The landlord's aunt said to her brother that you can take what you like to eat. But my brother has been educated by his mother since childhood. He can't take other people's things. He can tell his parents what he likes. He never eats anything in the store. When someone comes to buy something, he runs to call his aunt. Aunt also likes this child from afar. Later, my parents went to Hainan to contract a mango garden. My brother was also sent back to his hometown to live with my grandmother and me. Respecting the old and loving the young is what mother often says: "grandma is old, what she can do should be done by herself, listen to grandma and be a good child." When stewing chicken soup at home, chicken gizzards are regarded as the most nutritious part. My brother will give chicken gizzards to my grandmother. My cousin is two years younger than my brother. The two brothers are inseparable. Mother often says to her brother, "you are a brother. You should know how to take care of and protect your brother. Your toys and snacks should also be shared with your brother." My brother has always done this. If there is something delicious and fun, give it to my cousin first. When I was a junior in high school, my father developed cancer. In just over a year, he left us, leaving me who just went to university in Fuzhou, my brother who was in junior high school, and his home hollowed out because of high medical expenses. The pillar of the family fell down, and my mother also faced a choice: continue to Hainan or stay in her hometown? The home after dad left is in urgent need of money. At this time, my uncle, who was far away in Hainan, proposed to contract the mango garden with his mother, and all the costs were paid in advance by my uncle. In the face of uncle's help, mother finally decided to stay in her hometown. She told her uncle: "although going to Hainan may earn more money, Xiangrong is in junior high school and is in a rebellious period. I want to stay with him." During that time, my mother went out early and came back late to work three jobs. She worked as a salesperson in the supermarket in the morning, helped people sell rice dumplings in the market in the afternoon, and helped people in the rice dumpling workshop in the evening. For my mother's hard work, my brother saw it in his eyes and hurt in his heart. He studied hard, went home to help his mother with housework as soon as he came home from school, and often comforted me not to worry about my family. My younger brother cared about my mother and me as much as he could and went all out to enter high school. With the support of my mother and brother and the support of social caring people, I successfully graduated from University, stayed in Fuzhou and became a trainee lawyer. One day, my brother, who rarely revealed his inner thoughts, suddenly said that he wanted to be a soldier: "I wanted to be a soldier since I was a child. I was not old enough before. Now I have reached my age. I see posters and propaganda slogans in the school. The recruitment has begun this year. I want to sign up!" Mom and I looked at my brother's firm eyes and listened to his resolute tone. We were very pleased. Mother said, "it's a great honor to be a soldier. We support you unconditionally!" Finally, my brother successfully passed the conscription examination through his own efforts. The night before going to the army, my family held a farewell party for my brother. During the dinner, my brother put on his new military uniform, barefoot and stood upright. He wished he could be a big part higher than me to show his little manly spirit of protecting his mother and me. This interesting scene was also photographed by my mother. After my brother left as a soldier, we often looked at this picture. After his brother came to the army, he would call home as soon as he had the opportunity to use his mobile phone. When asked whether he worked hard, he always said he didn't have to worry about him. It wasn't hard at all. Once, I had just finished a small operation. Because the anesthetic didn't work, I lay in the hospital bed after the operation, with tears of pain. The cousin photographed the scene and sent it to her brother. When my brother saw the picture, he called and told me to take good care of myself. I suddenly felt warm in my heart and thought: this "little boy" has really grown up. After joining the army, my brother received an allowance of 4100 yuan for the first time, sent 2000 yuan to my mother and 2000 yuan to me, and told me to take part of the money to my grandmother. I asked him, "you gave us all the money. How can you use 100 yuan?" My brother said carelessly, "Oh, I don't have to spend money here. 100 yuan is enough." It was not until later that I learned from my brother's comrades in arms that my brother did not need to spend money, but was not willing to spend money. The first to receive the news of his brother's sacrifice was his uncle in his hometown. At that time, my mother was working in Hainan. My uncle was afraid that my mother was worried. He called and understated that there was something urgent at home and asked her to take the flight back home early the next morning. Under the repeated questioning of my mother, my uncle lied that his brother was injured in training and needed us to go to Xinjiang to accompany him. Mom was relieved and called me home the next day. It was a long and painful night. I kept thinking that my brother must be fine. But the reality is cruel. The next day, when my mother came home first, I learned the truth from my uncle. My mother, who hurried into the house, saw me in tears and understood everything in an instant. Mother sat on the ground with her legs soft and fainted. The next day when we got home, we came to pick up our brother and comrades in arms to visit our mother. My mother fainted with grief. The next day, we got on the flight to my brother's unit. Along the way, I still don't want to believe the fact that my brother died. It was not until I saw my brother lying in the ice coffin that I believed that my brother had left us forever. A chief asked his mother, "if you have any requirements, just put them forward, and we will try our best to meet them." My mother shook her head and said, "my son is a hero who protects our country. I don't have any requirements. I just want to know if he is brave when fighting?" From my brother's relics, my mother and I saw two letters my brother couldn't write. Every time we wrote "dear mother", we stopped writing. My brother must have a lot to say to my mother. Wordless confession can write eternal deep feelings. Later, one of them was collected by the Military Museum of the Chinese people's revolution. Now, sometimes I can hear my mother's cry in the morning and hear her playing the song "rong'er" written by my brother's comrades in arms again and again in the evening. Mother often said, "no matter who, in that case, will make the same choice as ronger." Sometimes, in front of me, my mother would comfort herself: "just think your brother is still in the army!" My brother's sacrifice has become an incurable pain for my mother and me. Once alive, he turned into plaques, certificates and medals. But I'm proud of my brother. He knew what he liked when he was so young and finally sacrificed his career. "Clear love, only for China", my brother did what every Chinese would do. Now, I also take my brother as an example and wear "peacock blue" to become a member of the civilian array. In the military camp, when those soldiers similar to my brother's age gradually become my familiar comrades in arms, and when I see their vigorous and courageous appearance again and again, I begin to understand the family and country deep feelings behind my brother's "clear love, only for China" (Xu Wentao and Li Rongrong participated in the collation) (outlook new era)